


That's Some Spoopy Shit You Got There

by sarcieles (orphan_account)



Category: X-Men First Class (2011)
Genre: Allusions to Hank/Raven, And Erik ended it, And yes this is Cherik because I had to, Because the Skeleton War promises sex for all, CUZ HE'S THE FUCKFATHER AMIRITE, Erik is a Fuckboy, F/M, Happy Halloween 2015, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Raven started the Skeleton Wars, Skeleton Wars, make that an actual tag please, spoopy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 07:26:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5120030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/sarcieles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Raven is the tumblr and reddit of the 1960s and introduces the terms "Skeleton Wars", "spoopy", and "fuckboy" into the world for the first time. And it seems everyone is taking a stand, even Erik and Charles. Though, not the way you would think.</p><p>It's literally the shortest thing ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's Some Spoopy Shit You Got There

**Author's Note:**

> Lol because I'm sure everyone fucking hates me
> 
> Also, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
> 
> I went over to my friend's house without a costume so she gave me a chess piece and told me to speak in an English accent. (God bless who I surround myself with)

"What's up, fuckboys?" Raven shouted as she entered the kitchen. Charles spit his mouthful of tea back into his cup.

"Excuse me?" he sputtered.

"Well, in the spirit of Halloween, I have officially started the Skeleton Wars," Raven explained, casting a sidelong glance at Hank, who was shaking his head. "Where the fuckboys--best example would be Alex--" Alex frowned at the negative connotation of the term "--are locked in battle with the skeletons."

"That makes less sense than your explanation of "smoll" and "lorge"." Sean remarked through a mouthful of toast.

"Shut up, smoll," Raven retorted. Sean shrugged.

"I'm afraid I don't get it." Charles said.

"What's not to get?"

"What are fuckboys? Why skeletons? Why are they fighting? What's the point?" Charles set his tea down and waved his hands around to show emphasis.

"You know, just pick a random side and she'll shut up," Erik advised, speaking for the first time that morning. He sipped his coffee, leaning up against the counter, his head almost hitting the cabinet above.

"Skeletons," Sean said as he got up to put his plate in the dishwasher. "Sounds better than being a fuckboy."

"I am not picking a side in this ridiculous whatever it is," Charles said with a tone of finality. Raven shrugged.

"I'm with Sean," Alex replied.

"Me too," Hank murmured. Raven grinned, then turned to Erik. His eyes looked amused over his coffee cup.

"We're waiting for you, Mr. Metal," Raven prompted with a devilish smile. Erik set his mug down and looked at Charles for a split second before speaking.

"Fuckboy," he announced, smirking. He set his cup in the sink and left the kitchen. Everyone was silent, until Raven shook her head.

"What I wouldn't give to know what that man is thinking," she said. "If he wasn't fifty and gay as a tree full of parakeets, I would totally hit that. I would get started on it, brother." She patted Charles on the shoulder and exited the room.

Hank and Charles both choked on nothing.

 

The Skeleton Wars did not disappear after breakfast, surprisingly. Sean and Alex seemed pretty invested, while Raven had somehow worked the word "spoopy"--which had been introduced that day when they all appeared to do conditioning and Sean had scared Hank by pouncing on him from behind--into every sentence. Charles resisted it as much as he could, while Erik had absolutely no stance. He did seem somewhat amused though.

"This entire thing is giving me a headache. I've never heard the word "fuck" so many times in one day," Charles hissed to Erik as they sat down to play chess. "Raven is insatiable."

"I found it charming." Erik said, the laughter apparent in his voice. It was very warm and almost content, which was something odd because Erik was never content. He was always brooding or arguing about something or other.

"You're merely bringing the whole thing on," growled Charles in an irritated tone, moving his pawn up two spaces to challenge Erik's knight.

"It's amusing, Charles, you must admit," Erik said.

"Amusing in the sense that you want to tear your hair out, yes." Charles grumbled.

"Okay then, guess why I am participating this." Erik requested firmly. He wasn't focusing on the chessboard at all.

"Because you get off on bringing out the proper professor in me," Charles said sarcastically. Erik rolled his eyes.

"Because for the first time I've realized I actually am in an environment where I can be part of things that don't ultimately bring down Shaw." Erik clarified softly. "Surely you've realized that."

Charles froze. "Y-Yes," he stammered. "But, that's no excuse--"

"For me to enjoy myself?"

"How are you enjoying this?"

"I'm enjoying it the way Raven does--because it annoys you."

"You bastard--" Erik silenced Charles by pushing aside the table in between them and pressed a smiling kiss to his lips. _Gay as a tree full of parakeets,_ Charles thought.

Erik pulled away with the same smirk he'd worn that morning. "I thought I told you, I'm a fuckboy."

With a low growl Charles tugged him back down, this time not even bothering with the proper mechanics as their noses bumped together. _I swear to God if you say that one more time,_ Charles hissed at Erik.

 _There's a reason why they call it a war, Charles,_ Erik reminded him snarkily. _And I think I won this battle._

 

That morning, when they both came downstairs late, Raven took one glance at them and smiled.

"Well, I guess that settles who wins," she said with a shrug. In a softer, more evil voice, she whispered to Charles: "Did he live up to his name?"

"I'M DONE!" Charles screeched and marched out of the kitchen, dragging Erik out by the wrist as he did. Raven winked at him as the tall man was whipped around the corner, his long legs struggling to compensate with the loss of ground as he sprinted to keep up.

"I think that was a successful Halloween," Alex snickered.

"No kidding." Sean replied with a grin. Hank smiled, then looked at Raven, who blushed and looked away.


End file.
